Why am I up at the wee morning hours? Because Little Miss Princess decided that 0245 was a good time for her to wake up. I have to confess that I was awake anyway, as Ry's working graveyard and I usually have a hard time sleeping when he's not here; but I'd be an unhappy camper if I really did have to wake up at that hour. Selfish, you say? Only if she is a crying, hungry, needs-a-poopy-diaper changed baby. But folks, she decided it was playtime and she was happily fine tuning her pterodactyl screech. I wasn't mad though. How can you be mad at the prettiest little blue eyed girl with a beaming smile? You can't.
I thought a bottle would put her back to sleep, but no. Almost two hours later she is still screeching and babbling. I guess it will be good for when Daddy gets off at 0600. He can soothe her to sleep, which hopefully means she'll sleep later, and Mommy and Daddy will get some sleep too. She has a hard time with bedtime when Daddy's working graveyard (it switches every month) because her usual routine is that I give her a bottle, cuddle a little bit, and then Ry scoops her up, we both give her kisses, "I love you and goodnight"s, and he puts her to bed. It's hard for her when he's gone; she adores her Daddy so much. We may have our troubles over his husband duties, but he is the perfect father. Our relationship with our daughter isn't Mommy 80%, Daddy 20%, it's always 50/50. And because of my back problems I would say it's more like 60/40 in his favor. He always makes sure to get her in the morning when she wakes so that she doesn't wake me. (I have horrible, horrible sleeping problems) He will play with her, crawl around with her, giving her extra time and attention because I can't do those things with her. (Can't bend down or sit for too long because of my fusion) He feeds Sam her lunch - solids - everyday (sans graveyard); not because I am unable, but because it's his favorite thing to do with his daughter.
Speaking of favorite things, he was holding her the other day and told me he can't wait until she puts her arms up on his shoulders (he made the motion with her arms). You know why? Because he cannot wait for the day when his daughter holds onto him, or gives him a hug. He says that will be the best thing. My heart went "Awww!".
I love that man.
P.S. It is 0505 just now and I believe the baby is asleep. *silent yay!*
Friday, May 01, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
I Guess I Owe You Some Pictures
AND THEN THERE WERE FOUR!
(Well, three humans and one beautiful kitten!)
The Beginning...
Ryan and I on vacation in Florida during Thanksgiving 2007 at his family's cabin. We had been dating 11 months.
Same vacation, except we were alone, by ourselves, across Florida in Orlando at DisneyWorld and Universal Studios.
Slowly Starting a Family...
Our first baby Missy. We saved her from a disgusting pet shop September 9th, 2007. She was in a dirty environment where she picked up fleas and a nasty respiratory infection that lasted 3 months. She was born on Ry's birthday, June 21st, she's 100% deaf, and she can either be the sweetest cat or the most evil little devil you've ever seen.
...but we still love her to pieces. She is now almost 2yrs old! (And yes, she's wearing a hoodie!)
Just after we got married on March 12th, 2008. We did a court wedding due to moving with the thought of doing a big wedding in the Summer. It didn't happen; instead, we got a baby. Much better than a wedding! (Besides, we didn't want to waste the thousands on a 20min ceremony.)First Love, Then Marriage, Then Comes Baby in a Baby Carriage...
.JPG)
What can I say about this beautiful girl? She is our first child, a princess, a miracle from God, and the day she was born was the happiest I have seen my husband. Her name is Samantha Lillian Pearl, and she was born at 1330 on September 24th, 2008 via emergency cesarean. She weighed 8lbs 1oz and was 21 & 1/2 inches long. .JPG)
Taken October 1st, just seven days before she was admitted to the hospital. At this point she only weighed 7lbs 1oz. She was only losing, not gaining. She was projectile vomiting the breast milk that I pumped, and her bowel movements were almost non-existant.
Almost a month old, a little bit after her hospital stay. There she was diagnosed with reflux (later GERD), an infection, and dehydration (duh, she was puking) and sent home on antibiotics (which caused her to get thrush, which required more antibiotics. We fought that for four weeks because of the doctor's neglect!), Zantac (for reflux) and an expensive prescription formula that thank God the military paid for. In this picture she was almost back up to her birth weight of 8lbs 1oz. Look how skinny she was. :-( Her skin flaps on her legs were awful.
Moving on Up...
This is Samantha now, both taken just last week! After 7 months of hard struggle, we are finally at a point where every day is a dream instead of a nightmare. This picture was taken this month on the 21st. Her "Easter" pictures. Isn't she beautiful? Today she weighs just 15lbs 12oz and is 26 & 1/2 inches long, but she has come a long way since that skinny little baby you saw up there. Her weight is all in her now chubby little legs, and her arms and torso are still petite. But instead of screaming, pain and sleepless nights, she is laughing, smiling and enjoying life!
Samantha's first trip to the park last week. She loved the swing, but hated the slide (we held her as she slid down). She'd swing all through the night if we let her. She is still on her expensive formula, but we are going to start weaning her off of it and onto a regular formula which scares the heck out of me. I don't want a repeat of last October when she almost died. I am concerned with how her system will handle it, as her formula now is free amino acids, milk and soy protein free, hypoallergenic, etc. and the regular formula has all those. But we are starting slowly under the close care of our wonderful Ped GI Dr. C, and are supposed to feed her one bottle of regular formula once every three days and report bi-monthly weight checks to Dr. C. We are starting that regime this week. She has been upgraded to a stronger reflux med, Prevacid, because for one month straight (Jan through Feb) she would scream half the day and all night because she was in so much pain. A few days after we got her on the Prevacid, she was 1000% different. We were seeing a baby we never saw before. It was pure bliss, and still is. She is slowly starting on solids - due to her GI issues we have to be careful - and loves pears.
Well, there you have it folks. Faces to the names, and a little about our past few years!
Officially Hate BCP
Not more than 9 days after my BCP scheduled period, I started yet another one, but this time it came back with a vengeance.
Last night I woke up around 2am to severe cramping in my lower abdomen. I've heard of miscarriages described, and I am guessing I just had an insight as to how they feel. No, I didn't have a miscarriage; just cramps, I guess. It felt like a contraction, and I remember wanting to push because I thought it would make me feel better but any pressure only made it worse. I was doubled over screaming, and eventually vomiting as well. Hubby got me settled into bed, and put a heat pad on my tummy. Eventually I felt well enough to fall asleep.
Why is this happening?
A) I thought BCP was supposed to control bad cramping.
B) What in the world is with the twice a month, heavy random periods?!
C) Wouldn't even know if they're preventing pregnancy because I am not having sex! You can't have sex when you're constantly on a period and your sex drive is in the gutter! (Well, you can have sex on your period but it's not something I practice. Ew.)
ARGH!
Last night I woke up around 2am to severe cramping in my lower abdomen. I've heard of miscarriages described, and I am guessing I just had an insight as to how they feel. No, I didn't have a miscarriage; just cramps, I guess. It felt like a contraction, and I remember wanting to push because I thought it would make me feel better but any pressure only made it worse. I was doubled over screaming, and eventually vomiting as well. Hubby got me settled into bed, and put a heat pad on my tummy. Eventually I felt well enough to fall asleep.
Why is this happening?
A) I thought BCP was supposed to control bad cramping.
B) What in the world is with the twice a month, heavy random periods?!
C) Wouldn't even know if they're preventing pregnancy because I am not having sex! You can't have sex when you're constantly on a period and your sex drive is in the gutter! (Well, you can have sex on your period but it's not something I practice. Ew.)
ARGH!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Oh The Hell With Witty Titles; Samantha Crawls!
At 19:20 this evening (that's 7:20PM for those of you that are, well, slow), my little seven month old crawled properly for the first time! Daddy had the video camera on her and I had my BlackBerry's camera on her, and for the first forty seconds she is just staring at us, probably thinking, "Why the hell are you staring at me?". Then her focus kicked in and off she went. In a matter of seconds she was at her destination. It was perfect. Sure, she still stumbles every now and then, but she can crawl on both arms and legs now. Yeah, she's skilled.
I am one proud momma, and I love that little girl.
I am one proud momma, and I love that little girl.
Friday, April 24, 2009
I So dislike BCP!
Birth Control Pills. My period ended last week, and I am on week two of my BCP. Today, I feel that wet "uh-oh" feeling and sure enough, another period! This always happens to me. Is my system screwed up? Is my BCP the wrong kind?
Agh!
Agh!
Happy 7 Months, Samantha!
Dear Samantha,
Seven months ago today, at 1330, you were brought into this world. The most beautiful newborn, you continue to grow more beautiful with each passing day. We have been through so much as a family since even before you were born. We thought there would be problems with you because of my high-risk status, but that was not God's will and he proved us wrong. Maybe because he knew it was too much for me to handle at the time, but through the past seven months I have grown stronger. Daddy and I still don't know why we were so blessed to have a near perfect daughter. I'm guessing God wanted us to be happy, and put you in our lives to show us that all things are possible, even miracles. The day you were born, and the three days following in the hospital, I realized that you were going to be okay; God had kept you safe inside my womb, for He created you and knew you as you are before Daddy and I. You, my little blessing, brought me closer to God, and I believe that is what your life purpose will always be; to bring non-believers and lost souls closer to God.
Matthew 18:5 - And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me.
At seven months, you are about 16lbs and 26.5" long. You are still on Prevacid for your GERD, and it continues to work it's magic. You are no longer screaming and crying in pain, which makes you one happy baby. You have begun to talk again, saying mostly "ba aaah wee anami da waaha yeah oh ooo mmmm plllth ma mi" and when you are upset or want attention, you utter what sounds to us like "Ma Ma" and "Ma Mi" because you have learned that this brings Mommy or Daddy to you. You also pant, a lot; I don't know where you picked that up but you do it all the time. However, I'd say your number one favorite thing to do is screeching. You love to screech/scream no matter what your mood; happy, excited, irritated, bored, upset or angry. The mood dictates the pitch and volume. I do this with you sometimes, and it makes you laugh constantly. What else makes you laugh? When Daddy pants along with you; when Mommy stands you up and dances with you, making weird sounds or singing to go along with your wiggling; when Daddy does a "num num num" (eating motion) on your neck/cheek and Mommy doing the same on your tummy. Although, when I do that you grab onto my hair with a vengeance. You like to grab anything and everything. You are such a little explorer these days, and often get your hands on things you are not supposed to have. Just like any other baby, what you can get in your hands goes directly into your mouth. You cannot crawl on all fours, but that doesn't stop you from getting around. You have developed your own version of the army crawl, and can get from A to B fairly quick. You are practicing daily for crawling on all fours though! You get up on your hands and knees and rock back and forth. You usually do this in your crib after you wake up, for twenty or thirty minutes you just rock, rock and rock, all while panting. You're so silly.
You still drool like a Saint Bernard, and you have two teeth slowly coming in on the bottom which have never seemed to bother you. You like to suck on our fingers, but we've learned to stay away from your mouth because you bite with those sharp pearly whites!
Recently, I attemped to teach you to kiss and if I can get your attention, you lean in and give us an open-mouthed, wet kiss. Sure we get drool on us, but we don't mind because we love kisses!
You are such a sweet, simple loving girl. You never pass up an opportunity to make a stranger fall in love with your baby blues and adorable smile. You enjoy attention and are not even one bit shy, except when it comes to other babies. You only see them at the doctor's office, so you remain quiet and observant. I am pretty sure you don't know what to think of these tiny people. I will get us enrolled in a "Mommy & Me" class soon so that you can get exposure to other babies, and learn to make friends.
My parents, your G-Pa and Grammy, love you more than anything in this world and it pains them that they don't get to see you everyday. Grammy is having back surgery on June 1st, so we will be going towards the middle of May to visit, spend Mother's Day with her, and then aid in her recovery. I know she'll heal faster with her favorite beautiful baby around.
Daddy's parents, Grandpa and Gramma Jones, they miss you too. You have yet to meet Grandpa, and I don't know when we'll see them again. You still have to meet Daddy's siblings, Uncle Jerry and TiTi Daun, as well as Daun's sons, your cousins, Nicky, Alex and Jonathan. Your Uncle Jerry and his wife Aunt Ronni are faithful Christians; Daddy and I have been contemplating asking them to be your Godparents. We've more discussing to do, but I am pretty sure that they will be as they can guide you spiritually better than anyone we know.
You are a beautiful creation of God, Samantha, and you have changed a lot of people's lives forever, just by being born. Many people love you, and will always be there for you. We look forward to many more days, weeks, months and years with you. I wish you didn't have to get any older, but since you must, we'll cherish every day together. Before I know it you'll be one year old.
Happy Seven Months, Peanut. I love you with all that I am, and so does Daddy.
Love,
Mommy
Seven months ago today, at 1330, you were brought into this world. The most beautiful newborn, you continue to grow more beautiful with each passing day. We have been through so much as a family since even before you were born. We thought there would be problems with you because of my high-risk status, but that was not God's will and he proved us wrong. Maybe because he knew it was too much for me to handle at the time, but through the past seven months I have grown stronger. Daddy and I still don't know why we were so blessed to have a near perfect daughter. I'm guessing God wanted us to be happy, and put you in our lives to show us that all things are possible, even miracles. The day you were born, and the three days following in the hospital, I realized that you were going to be okay; God had kept you safe inside my womb, for He created you and knew you as you are before Daddy and I. You, my little blessing, brought me closer to God, and I believe that is what your life purpose will always be; to bring non-believers and lost souls closer to God.
Matthew 18:5 - And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me.
At seven months, you are about 16lbs and 26.5" long. You are still on Prevacid for your GERD, and it continues to work it's magic. You are no longer screaming and crying in pain, which makes you one happy baby. You have begun to talk again, saying mostly "ba aaah wee anami da waaha yeah oh ooo mmmm plllth ma mi" and when you are upset or want attention, you utter what sounds to us like "Ma Ma" and "Ma Mi" because you have learned that this brings Mommy or Daddy to you. You also pant, a lot; I don't know where you picked that up but you do it all the time. However, I'd say your number one favorite thing to do is screeching. You love to screech/scream no matter what your mood; happy, excited, irritated, bored, upset or angry. The mood dictates the pitch and volume. I do this with you sometimes, and it makes you laugh constantly. What else makes you laugh? When Daddy pants along with you; when Mommy stands you up and dances with you, making weird sounds or singing to go along with your wiggling; when Daddy does a "num num num" (eating motion) on your neck/cheek and Mommy doing the same on your tummy. Although, when I do that you grab onto my hair with a vengeance. You like to grab anything and everything. You are such a little explorer these days, and often get your hands on things you are not supposed to have. Just like any other baby, what you can get in your hands goes directly into your mouth. You cannot crawl on all fours, but that doesn't stop you from getting around. You have developed your own version of the army crawl, and can get from A to B fairly quick. You are practicing daily for crawling on all fours though! You get up on your hands and knees and rock back and forth. You usually do this in your crib after you wake up, for twenty or thirty minutes you just rock, rock and rock, all while panting. You're so silly.
You still drool like a Saint Bernard, and you have two teeth slowly coming in on the bottom which have never seemed to bother you. You like to suck on our fingers, but we've learned to stay away from your mouth because you bite with those sharp pearly whites!
Recently, I attemped to teach you to kiss and if I can get your attention, you lean in and give us an open-mouthed, wet kiss. Sure we get drool on us, but we don't mind because we love kisses!
You are such a sweet, simple loving girl. You never pass up an opportunity to make a stranger fall in love with your baby blues and adorable smile. You enjoy attention and are not even one bit shy, except when it comes to other babies. You only see them at the doctor's office, so you remain quiet and observant. I am pretty sure you don't know what to think of these tiny people. I will get us enrolled in a "Mommy & Me" class soon so that you can get exposure to other babies, and learn to make friends.
My parents, your G-Pa and Grammy, love you more than anything in this world and it pains them that they don't get to see you everyday. Grammy is having back surgery on June 1st, so we will be going towards the middle of May to visit, spend Mother's Day with her, and then aid in her recovery. I know she'll heal faster with her favorite beautiful baby around.
Daddy's parents, Grandpa and Gramma Jones, they miss you too. You have yet to meet Grandpa, and I don't know when we'll see them again. You still have to meet Daddy's siblings, Uncle Jerry and TiTi Daun, as well as Daun's sons, your cousins, Nicky, Alex and Jonathan. Your Uncle Jerry and his wife Aunt Ronni are faithful Christians; Daddy and I have been contemplating asking them to be your Godparents. We've more discussing to do, but I am pretty sure that they will be as they can guide you spiritually better than anyone we know.
You are a beautiful creation of God, Samantha, and you have changed a lot of people's lives forever, just by being born. Many people love you, and will always be there for you. We look forward to many more days, weeks, months and years with you. I wish you didn't have to get any older, but since you must, we'll cherish every day together. Before I know it you'll be one year old.
Happy Seven Months, Peanut. I love you with all that I am, and so does Daddy.
Love,
Mommy
Monday, April 20, 2009
Weird Fact #1
Carrots give me hiccups. Before my pregnancy I had never gotten hiccups in my life, but started to get them one or two at a time while pregnant.
Now, as soon as I down my first carrot, up come the hiccups!
So weird!
Now, as soon as I down my first carrot, up come the hiccups!
So weird!
Samantha's GI Appointment
Samantha had her GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease) check-up today with Dr. Cornfeld up in DC. First, the important details:
Stats
**Weight - 15lbs&14oz.
**Height - 26.3"
Percentiles
**Weight - 25% (again *sigh*
**Height - Around 30%
Her height has not changed since February. Babies are supposed to grow about two inches between four and six months. Why is she not growing? We're not giving her coffee!
Dr.C was very happy to see her as he has not seen her since December. He loves her and calls her "his little peanut". We love him because a) he is the only doctor that treats us like parents and adults, b) he explains everything to us in detail and never leaves parts out like some of her doctors do, and c) he is funny, caring, understanding and extremely smart.
He wants to start weaning her off Elecare (hypoallergenic, free amino acids, no milk or cow proteins; so it's basically just vitamins) and onto regular formula so that her stomach can learn to digest better. Elecare simply absorbs into her system without her tummy having to do much work. It is important that she gets off of it so her stomach can get stronger. This of course scares me, because I don't want her to relapse like she did when she was a newborn. I don't want to have to go into the hospital again, and it's so hard to see her in pain. Dr.C understands this and wants to begin introducing the new formula by one bottle every three days. It will give us the chance to monitor her closely and make sure there are no allergic reactions or problems with her GERD. The formula to use, he said, is anything we want but it's best to go with the cheapest. We haven't started yet but will next week. We will be reporting to him every two weeks to give him the results of her weight checks. We also have to start giving her food but must only give her pears, oatmeal, carrots or peas. Nothing else, and only once a day, a little at a time.
I am scared and anxious, but I know that we have to do what's best for Sam. We can do this.
Stats
**Weight - 15lbs&14oz.
**Height - 26.3"
Percentiles
**Weight - 25% (again *sigh*
**Height - Around 30%
Her height has not changed since February. Babies are supposed to grow about two inches between four and six months. Why is she not growing? We're not giving her coffee!
Dr.C was very happy to see her as he has not seen her since December. He loves her and calls her "his little peanut". We love him because a) he is the only doctor that treats us like parents and adults, b) he explains everything to us in detail and never leaves parts out like some of her doctors do, and c) he is funny, caring, understanding and extremely smart.
He wants to start weaning her off Elecare (hypoallergenic, free amino acids, no milk or cow proteins; so it's basically just vitamins) and onto regular formula so that her stomach can learn to digest better. Elecare simply absorbs into her system without her tummy having to do much work. It is important that she gets off of it so her stomach can get stronger. This of course scares me, because I don't want her to relapse like she did when she was a newborn. I don't want to have to go into the hospital again, and it's so hard to see her in pain. Dr.C understands this and wants to begin introducing the new formula by one bottle every three days. It will give us the chance to monitor her closely and make sure there are no allergic reactions or problems with her GERD. The formula to use, he said, is anything we want but it's best to go with the cheapest. We haven't started yet but will next week. We will be reporting to him every two weeks to give him the results of her weight checks. We also have to start giving her food but must only give her pears, oatmeal, carrots or peas. Nothing else, and only once a day, a little at a time.
I am scared and anxious, but I know that we have to do what's best for Sam. We can do this.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Baby Steps Towards Making Another Baby
Hubby and I had a discussion last night about when we want to have our next child. Now, I have read my share of infertility blogs and fully understand that sometimes when you want to have a baby doesn't exactly coincide with your body's ability to do so at the time you choose. Samantha wasn't exactly planned; We just stopped trying to not get pregnant. Make sense? "When it happens, it happens." We figured it would take awhile to get pregnant, but God had other plans (which was completely okay with us!). Ever since I was a young teen, I always had this fear that something was wrong with me and I would not be able to get pregnant. My fear was based on a) my long-life dreams of wanting my own children, and b) all the stories of infertile women I had heard or read about. Whether it was couples who had to try for three years, the woman with ovarian cancer, or the couple with multiple odds against them, it all scared me. So from about age 15 until 20 when I got pregnant, I had this horrible fear. I was surprised when I got pregnant, because earlier in my life when I did not let God be present, I had situations that could have resulted in a baby, but didn't. I now understand why; it was by the grace of God that I had my first pregnancy with my husband, my soulmate. God stood by my side even when I turned away from Him, and he protected me from instances that would have surely ruined my life. Then He gave Ryan and I the gift of a beautiful girl who would change both our lives forever. I am closer to God because of Samantha, my miracle. In her I discovered that all things are possible. Little by little, Ryan is starting to rely more on God as well.
I digress.
We started to discuss just how far apart we'd like the first and second child to be. Ryan said something that completely shocked me: "God will decide when it's time." or something to the effect. It surprised me because Ryan doesn't use "God" in any of his daily terminology and he certainly doesn't say something regarding religion that makes sense. It means he's making an effort towards knowing God as well as understanding how much He means in my life.
Of course, I told Ryan that in order for God to decide the timing of our newest arrival, we had to stop hindering it with birth control. "Oh yeah" Ryan said. He's so cute sometimes. He also mentioned that 18 months would be a good buffer between Samantha and her younger sibling. That would be great except for the fact that we'd have have to start trying in a month or two! I have to get off certain meds, get my back stronger, lose some weight, and then we can start trying.
Either way, I'd say there's a great possibility we'll be starting to try again late this year!
I digress.
We started to discuss just how far apart we'd like the first and second child to be. Ryan said something that completely shocked me: "God will decide when it's time." or something to the effect. It surprised me because Ryan doesn't use "God" in any of his daily terminology and he certainly doesn't say something regarding religion that makes sense. It means he's making an effort towards knowing God as well as understanding how much He means in my life.
Of course, I told Ryan that in order for God to decide the timing of our newest arrival, we had to stop hindering it with birth control. "Oh yeah" Ryan said. He's so cute sometimes. He also mentioned that 18 months would be a good buffer between Samantha and her younger sibling. That would be great except for the fact that we'd have have to start trying in a month or two! I have to get off certain meds, get my back stronger, lose some weight, and then we can start trying.
Either way, I'd say there's a great possibility we'll be starting to try again late this year!
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