Baby Steps Towards Making Another Baby

Hubby and I had a discussion last night about when we want to have our next child. Now, I have read my share of infertility blogs and fully understand that sometimes when you want to have a baby doesn't exactly coincide with your body's ability to do so at the time you choose. Samantha wasn't exactly planned; We just stopped trying to not get pregnant. Make sense? "When it happens, it happens." We figured it would take awhile to get pregnant, but God had other plans (which was completely okay with us!). Ever since I was a young teen, I always had this fear that something was wrong with me and I would not be able to get pregnant. My fear was based on a) my long-life dreams of wanting my own children, and b) all the stories of infertile women I had heard or read about. Whether it was couples who had to try for three years, the woman with ovarian cancer, or the couple with multiple odds against them, it all scared me. So from about age 15 until 20 when I got pregnant, I had this horrible fear. I was surprised when I got pregnant, because earlier in my life when I did not let God be present, I had situations that could have resulted in a baby, but didn't. I now understand why; it was by the grace of God that I had my first pregnancy with my husband, my soulmate. God stood by my side even when I turned away from Him, and he protected me from instances that would have surely ruined my life. Then He gave Ryan and I the gift of a beautiful girl who would change both our lives forever. I am closer to God because of Samantha, my miracle. In her I discovered that all things are possible. Little by little, Ryan is starting to rely more on God as well.

I digress.

We started to discuss just how far apart we'd like the first and second child to be. Ryan said something that completely shocked me: "God will decide when it's time." or something to the effect. It surprised me because Ryan doesn't use "God" in any of his daily terminology and he certainly doesn't say something regarding religion that makes sense. It means he's making an effort towards knowing God as well as understanding how much He means in my life.

Of course, I told Ryan that in order for God to decide the timing of our newest arrival, we had to stop hindering it with birth control. "Oh yeah" Ryan said. He's so cute sometimes. He also mentioned that 18 months would be a good buffer between Samantha and her younger sibling. That would be great except for the fact that we'd have have to start trying in a month or two! I have to get off certain meds, get my back stronger, lose some weight, and then we can start trying.

Either way, I'd say there's a great possibility we'll be starting to try again late this year!